I just can't
by MrRyAmbrose
Summary: Faberry heartache. Quinn says something she can never take back...But is all as it seems in the young blondes life? - M for language, and abuse.  i don't own characters, songs, shows or films. But plot and storyline are my own
1. The pain

**DISCLAIMERS; I do NOT own anything :( **

**All mistakes are mine :)**

**Basically there is no real reason for this story. Apart from a way of venting my own awful mood.**

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><p>The glee club sat together in the choir room watching as normal for Mr. Shue to arrive. There was a weird tension in the air surrounding the glee club, everyone could feel it but no-one wanted to say anything. They just looked at one another and then in turn at both Quinn and Rachel. Over the last few months the two had become very close, sitting together in glee, in class, at lunch. They were always at each others houses after school but suddenly, in the space of a weekend they were sitting apart and wouldn't even look at one another.<p>

Finally Mr. Shue hurried through the door and immediately noticed the tension in the air and the position of the girls. He stands and stares for a moment before starting.

"So guys, does anyone have anything to sing?" he says looking hopefully at Rachel. She looks up weakly and nods, receiving a beaming smile in return from Shue. Rachel walks over to the band and whispers something to them, causing them to raise an eyebrow but nod anyways.

**Easy come, easy go**  
><strong>That's just how you live, oh<strong>  
><strong>Take, take, take it all<strong>  
><strong>But you never give<strong>  
><strong>Should've known you was trouble<strong>  
><strong>From the first kiss<strong>  
><strong>Had your eyes wide open<strong>  
><strong>Why were they open?<strong>

Rachel shrugs as she sings the last line.

**Gave you all I had**  
><strong>And you tossed it in the trash<strong>  
><strong>You tossed it in the trash, you did<strong>  
><strong>To give me all your love<strong>  
><strong>Is all I ever asked<strong>  
><strong>Cause what you don't understand<strong>  
><strong>Is<strong>

**I'd catch a grenade for you **  
><strong>Throw my hand on a blade for you <strong>  
><strong>I'd jump in front of a train for you <strong>  
><strong>You know I'd do anything for you <strong>  
><strong>I would go through all this pain<strong>  
><strong>Take a bullet straight through my brain <strong>(Rachel uses her fingers as gun to indicate she means it.)  
><strong>Yes, I would die for you, baby<strong>  
><strong>But you won't do the same<strong>

Every time she sings 'You' Rachel points at Quinn briefly, making it clear how she really feels.

**No, no, no, no**

**Black, black, black and blue**  
><strong>Beat me 'til I'm numb<strong>  
><strong>Tell the devil I said "Hey" when you get back to where you're from<strong>  
><strong>Mad woman, bad woman<strong>  
><strong>That's just what you are<strong>  
><strong>Yeah, you smile in my face then rip the brakes out my car<strong>

Rachel wipes her eyes, trying to force the tears away. Not willing to give Quinn the satisfaction of hurting her.

**Gave you all I had**  
><strong>And you tossed it in the trash<strong>  
><strong>You tossed it in the trash, yes you did<strong>  
><strong>To give me all your love<strong>  
><strong>Is all I ever asked<strong>  
><strong>Cause what you don't understand<strong>  
><strong>Is<strong>

**I'd catch a grenade for you **  
><strong>Throw my hand on the blade for you<strong>  
><strong>I'd jump in front of a train for you<strong>  
><strong>You know I'd do anything for you<strong>  
><strong>I would go through all this pain<strong>  
><strong>Take a bullet straight through my brain <strong>(Again Rachel uses her fingers as gun to indicate she means it.)  
><strong>Yes, I would die for you, baby<strong>  
><strong>But you won't do the same<strong>

**If my body was on fire**  
><strong>You would watch me burn down in flames<strong>  
><strong>You said you loved me, you're a liar<strong>  
><strong>Cause you never ever, ever did, baby<strong>

**But, darling, I'd still catch a grenade for you**  
><strong>Throw my hand on the blade for you<strong>  
><strong>I'd jump in front of a train for you<strong>  
><strong>You know I'd do anything for you<strong>

**I would go through all this pain**  
><strong>Take a bullet straight through my brain<strong>  
><strong>Yes I would die for you baby<strong>  
><strong>But you won't do the same<strong>

Rachel kneels on the floor with tears falling freely now.

**No, you won't do the same**  
><strong>You wouldn't do the same<strong>  
><strong>Ooh, you'd never do the same<strong>  
><strong>Oh, no, no, no<strong>

As the song ends, Rachel just stays kneeled on the floor, with her head in her hands sobbing her heart out in front of everyone. The rest of the glee club just sit unmoved completely stunned by the new level of emotion Rachel reached during her performance. Shockingly. it is Santana who moves first. She stands from her seat, slowly making her way over to Rachel. She looks back at the glee club quickly before kneeling next to Rachel and wrapping her arms around the weeping girl. Rachel quickly wraps her arms around Santana's next, sobbing hard into her top.

Quinn quickly wipes her eyes and storms out of the room leaving the gleeks, more shocked and confused then before. Santana whispers softly in Rachel's ear, causing Rachel to lift her head and look towards the seat, Quinn has just left. She glances back at Santana, who just nods. She wipes her eyes hard, before standing and 'diva' storming after Quinn.

"QUINN!" she shouts spotting the blonde straight away, as she leans against a set of lockers. "Tell me that song is a lie and I will take it all back!" Rachel calls in a softer voice. Quinn finally, glances over towards the approaching brunette.

"You know I can't. What we were doing was wrong!" Quinn states trying to pull her HBIC mask on. "I am not like you and your family Man-Hands!" Quinn shouts and immediately regrets her words when she sees the hurt flash over Rachel's face. She steps forward to take it back but is only meant with a hard slap around the face and then the retreating figure of Rachel.

"Why, Quinn? Just tell her the truth," Santana says as she comes out the choir room, having listened to everything. Quinn just shakes her head and walks away.

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><p><strong>SONG; Grenade by Bruno mars<strong>


	2. The plan

**DISCLAIMERS; I do NOT own anything :( **

**All mistakes are mine :)**

**Sorry it's been so long guys. Loads of stuff going on in my personal life that I needed to deal with. But luckly for this story, not all of it was nice, helping me write this story. :) **

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><p>The events that unfolded during Monday's glee were still fresh in the minds of the gleeks Friday morning, as they once again found themselves sitting in the choir room. The tension they had all felt on Monday was not only back but it was worse. And if things couldn't get worse no-one has seen or heard from Quinn or Rachel since the horrible glee just a few days earlier.<p>

Mr Shue stood at the front of the room, looking around at each and every dejected face staring back at him. He knew that everyone had been badly affected by the events that had torn apart the glee clubs favourite couple. Everyone was worried about the young couple, himself included.

"Okay guys. I know we are all down today but we need to push that aside and find a way around it," Mr Shue started, pulling up a stall to sit on. "So our first plan of action. Find a way to get Rachel and Quinn back together. So come on guys. We need ideas!" Shue states, clapping his hands together and looking hopefully at his students.

"We need to get Q out of that repressive house!" Santana suddenly shouts into the silence, causing everyone to jump and turn and look at her. "That arsehole Russell is the reason why Quinn is acting this way. He has told her that if she doesn't end it with Rachel, he will kick her out and take away her college fund. Which she believes will make Rachel abandon her dream of New York and stay in Lima with Quinn - which let's face it, is true. So Quinn thinks she is doing the right thing by Rachel in the long run," Santana reveals to a stunned Glee club. Mr Shue stood at the front of the room looking out at the shock faces and tried to work up a plan.

"Wait I thought Russell moved out last year?" Puck said, turning in his chair fully to face his ladino friend, who just sighed sadly.

"He was only gone for a few months and then Judy took him back. And he went back to treating Q the same way he always has. Which meant sadly Q, went back to being the closed off, hurt child from before. I have tried to get her to move out of the stupid house but she is scared. She believes that this is the only way to make sure she doesn't hold Rachel back in her dream," Santana explains, to the rest of the group who suddenly felt like they didn't know Quinn at all. "My best plan is to explain this all to Rachel and then sit them down. But if we can't get Quinn to see Rachel's happiness is more important than her dream we are screwed."

"I can't believe I am even doing this but... Santana is right." Finn says from the front row. "But who will Rachel listen to about all of this?" he mused aloud, looking around at his fellow gleeks. He watched at Santana and Brittany looks over at one another and nods their heads.

GLEEGLEEGLEEGLEE

Santana stood outside the Berry house looking at the red front door. Taking a deep breath to calm her nerves she walked slowly up to the door. 'Why am I so nervous?' she thought to herself, she'd been to the house many times before. She knew that Hiram and Leroy would both be at work still, but with Rachel at home the front door would be open. Sneaking slowly into the house, Santana is hit by the sweet music of Lady Antebellum filling the house. She knew the songs right away and suddenly heard the voice of her little diva friend singing over the voice of Charles Kelley and Hillary Scott.

_Lyin' here with you so close to me_  
><em>It's hard to fight these feelings when it feels so hard to breathe<em>  
><em>Caught up in this moment<em>  
><em>Caught up in your smile<em>

Rachel voice was soft but still as powerful as ever. Santana knew that she was fighting tears as she sang the song, she could picture the girl with red puffy eyes singing her heart to the person who had hurt her so badly.

_I've never opened up to anyone_  
><em>So hard to hold back when I'm holding you in my arms<em>  
><em>We don't need to rush this<em>  
><em>Let's just take this slow<em>

_Just a kiss on your lips in the moonlight_  
><em>Just a touch in the fire burning so bright<em>  
><em>And I don't want to mess this thing up<em>  
><em>I don't want to push too far<em>  
><em>Just a shot in the dark that you just might<em>  
><em>Be the one I've been waiting for my whole life<em>  
><em>So baby I'm alright, with just a kiss goodnight<em>

Santana heard a sob escape her lips as she stood at Rachel's door, watching her friend pouring so much emotional and love into her words. It broke her heart to know that Rach was hurting so badly.

_I know that if we give this a little time_  
><em>it will only bring us closer to the love we wanna find<em>  
><em>it's never felt so real, no it's never felt so right<em>

_Just a kiss on your lips in the moonlight_  
><em>Just a touch in the fire burning so bright<em>  
><em>And I don't want to mess this thing up<em>  
><em>I don't want to push too far<em>  
><em>Just a shot in the dark that you just might<em>  
><em>Be the one I've been waiting for my whole life<em>  
><em>So baby I'm alright, with just a kiss goodnight<em>

_No I don't want to say goodnight_  
><em>I know it's time to leave, but you'll be in my dreams<em>  
><em>Tonight<em>  
><em>Tonight<em>  
><em>Tonight<em>

Hearing Hillary Scott's voice take over again, Santana realises Rachel has stopped singing and given up the waterfall of tears that were now flowing down her face. Santana quickly walked over to Rachel's purple fluffy bed and wrapped her strong, toned arms around the broken girl. Rachel gripped back without a second thought and clung to her friend as she sobbed, soaking the Latino's cheerio shirt.

_Just a kiss on your lips in the moonlight_  
><em>Just a touch in the fire burning so bright<em>  
><em>And I don't want to mess this thing up<em>  
><em>I don't want to push too far<em>  
><em>Just a shot in the dark that you just might<em>  
><em>Be the one I've been waiting for my whole life<em>  
><em>So baby I'm alright, oh, let's do this right, with just a kiss goodnight<em>  
><em>With a kiss goodnight<em>  
><em>Kiss goodnight<em>

After what felt like hours of crying, Rachel's sobs started to die down but her grip on Santana didn't loosen. "It's okay Rach. I am going to try and fix everything," Santana whispered, before pulling back and looking right into Rachel's eyes. "But first I need to tell you something," she says. Sitting up straight, Santana takes Rachel's hands in her own.

"I don't know if Quinn has ever told you any of this stuff, so bare with me okay?" she starts, waiting for Rach to nod before continuing. "When we were about 13 Quinn and I had a sleep over and whilst playing truth or dare, we kissed. We both agreed that although we liked it, we didn't like kissing each other it was just way to weird. Somehow Russell found out about it, that was the first time her ever beat her," Santana admits, gripping Rachel's hands tighter as the small diva gasps in shock. "As time passed Russell continued to beat her and even sent her away to a Purification camp to try and fix her. That is why she started dating Finn and slept with Puck. When Judy finally grew a back bone and kicked that son of a bitch out last year, Quinn was free to be who she truly was - thus leading to you guys dating. But Judy did something to bring Quinn's life crashing down once again by taking Russell back. He quickly found out about you guys and started beating Q again. He told her if she didn't end things with you, he would kick her out and take away her money for college in New York. First she told him to fuck off, but then she started thinking if he really did it and she wasn't able to go to New York with you that maybe you would decide to stay in Lima with her, and give up on your dream of Broadway. So she decided that the only way to make sure you didn't give up on your lifelong dream for her was to make you hate her. So that is why she said what she did on Monday," Santana explained and after inwardly smiled at how much her rant sounded like something Rachel would have done. She looked up at her brunette girl and waited for some kind of reaction to everything she had just said.

"Well we have to show her that, she was silly to think that. And most importantly get her out of that fucking house!" Rachel said firmly.

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><p><strong>Song; Just A Kiss by Lady A :)<strong>


	3. Hospital

**DISCLAIMERS; I do NOT own anything :( **

**All mistakes are mine :)**

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><p>"YOU ARE A STUPID SLUT! YOU ARE WORTHLESS AND PATHETIC FOR STILL CRYING OVER THAT LITTLE DYKE GIRLFRIEND OF YOURS?" Russell shouted at his sinful daughter as he slapped her around the face. He had come home around an hour ago and unsurprisingly had been drinking ever since. When he was sober he said hurtful things and told her she was a sin, but once he got drunk he would beat her and sometimes would even rape her. Judy would just act as if what was happening was normal, after every beating she would pour Russell another scotch and then go upstairs and help Quinn clean up. She never said a word to Quinn whilst helping her clean; she would just smile with a guilty look on her face. Quinn knew that Judy was just too scared to step in, but it still hurt. How could she just let someone beat her daughter, even if that someone was her drunken husband? Russell had never beaten her so bad that she ended up in hospital but something was different this time.<p>

This slap had knocked Quinn down to the floor and Russell just started kicking her, over and over. He showed no sign of stopping. Quinn could feel herself fading, the pain in her chest was just much, and she can faintly hear Russell shouting insults at her.

"Daddy, please stop, please," she begged as he continued to kick her hard, it was so painful and she could almost feel her ribs breaking as he continued. "I broke up with her, I promise. I did as you asked and made her hate me, so she will leave me alone. So I can marry a nice man and be a good housewife," she told him hoping that would make him stop, but he just laughed at her coldly. As he continued to beat her, she looked over she see her mother sitting on the sofa with a glass of wine in her hand, just watching the event unfold. When she caught Quinn's eyes she just glanced away, pretending that it wasn't happening. Quinn continued to fade and just as she started to give in, she could hear shouting at the front door.

"Rachel," Quinn whispered just as everything went black.

**MEANWHILE AT THE BERRY'S**

Santana and Rachel had been brainstorming ways of getting Quinn out of her house. They'd come up with and ruled out several ideas, that varied from simply breaking in and taking the girl (Rachel's idea) and going all Lima Heights on Russell's ass and taking Quinn by force (clearly Santana's idea). They both knew they need to come up with something that meant that Russell could not just come and take Quinn back whenever he wanted. Rachel hopped off the bed and made her way over to the desk and loaded up her laptop, glancing back at Santana who was sat on the bed writing something down, before cursing and crossing it over aggressively. It was always nice to see this side of Santana, rather than the guarded bitch. Turning back to the laptop Rachel realised she had no idea what to Google. She knew that they needed a way to get Quinn out but it needed to make sure Russell just couldn't take her back whenever he felt like it. They both jumped when suddenly there heard a door slam and footsteps on the stairs. Rachel jumped up and ran over to Santana, gripping her hand. She knew it was silly to be scared but she still was.

"Rachel honey, I am home. Are you in your room?" a deep voice called from somewhere on the stairs, slowly getting closer to the bedroom door. Both girls let out of the breath they were holding upon hearing Hiram's voice.

"Yes daddy, you can come in," Rachel called back, smiling at Santana and she caught her eye. They watched the door slowly open and reveal a tall man still wearing his police uniform. He had a serious look on his face that told the girls that he was not home because he wanted to be. "What is it daddy?" Rachel asked starting to panic with all kinds of thoughts racing through her mind. She watched as Hiram came and start on the bed with both the girls and released a heavy sigh.

"Something happened. Quinn is in hospital and her father has been arrested for beating her. So far evidence is suggesting that this was not a one off thing," Hiram informed the two girls sadly. "I was called to the Fabray house by a neighbour after she heard a scream. When I got there..." Hiram explained stopping to take both Santana's and Rachel's hand in his own. "When I got there, Mr Fabray was still kicking at Quinn seemingly lifeless body. However even though that seems awful – which it is – it works in our favour, we can charge him because we witnessed it but we can also charge Judy Fabray, as she was in the room and was just watching it happen. That however does leave Quinn alone," Hiram explains hugging both girls as the start to cry. "Rachel, I spoke to your dad and we made a decision, which we got Russell Fabray to agree with too. Quinn will be coming to live with us after she gets out of hospital."

Rachel just cried more and clung to her daddy.

**GLEEGLEEGLEE**

Hiram had taken both Rachel and Santana to the hospital so they could see Quinn. They had arrived almost two hours ago; Rachel had not left her side no matter what people had said or how many people had tried to get her to come away. Quinn was still sleeping but Rachel knew she could hear her, everyone said that she couldn't but she knew they were wrong.

"Quinn, I know you can hear me baby. You have to wake up sweetheart, please. I need you, please. I am going to sing to you okay, because I know you love my voice and I want you to make sure you wake up once I finish," Rachel pleas gripping Quinn's hand. She knew she should have a song prepared for a moment like this, she was a performer, she should be ready. But she had no idea, all she could think of was the one song that never failed to remind her of Quinn.

_Sometimes late at night_  
><em>I lie awake and watch her sleeping<em>  
><em>She's lost in peaceful dreams<em>  
><em>So I turn out the lights and lay there in the dark<em>  
><em>And the thought crosses my mind<em>  
><em>If I never wake up in the morning<em>  
><em>Would she ever doubt the way I feel<em>  
><em>About her in my heart<em>

_If tomorrow never comes_  
><em>Will she know how much I loved her<em>  
><em>Did I try in every way to show her every day<em>  
><em>That she's my only one<em>  
><em>And if my time on earth were through<em>  
><em>And she must face this world without me<em>  
><em>Is the love I gave her in the past<em>  
><em>Gonna be enough to last<em>  
><em>If tomorrow never comes<em>

_'Cause I've lost loved ones in my life_  
><em>Who never knew how much I loved them<em>  
><em>Now I live with the regret<em>  
><em>That my true feelings for them never were revealed<em>  
><em>So I made a promise to myself<em>  
><em>To say each day how much she means to me<em>  
><em>And avoid that circumstance<em>  
><em>Where there's no second chance to tell her how I feel<em>

_If tomorrow never comes_  
><em>Will she know how much I loved her<em>  
><em>Did I try in every way to show her every day<em>  
><em>That she's my only one<em>  
><em>And if my time on earth were through<em>  
><em>And she must face this world without me<em>  
><em>Is the love I gave her in the past<em>  
><em>Gonna be enough to last<em>  
><em>If tomorrow never comes<em>

_So tell that someone that you love_  
><em>Just what you're thinking of<em>  
><em>If tomorrow never comes<em>

"You're still my emotional little Diva then?" Quinn whispered as she watched Rachel drop her head on the bed, she giggles as Rachel's head whipped up so fast she was sure it would fall off.

"QUINN!" Rachel squealed as she looked up to see her girlfriend's bright eyes staring back at her, she jumped up and hugging her tightly. Hearing Quinn hiss in pain Rachel pulled away sheepishly. "Sorry" she whispered shyly. Quinn shifts over on the bed carefully and pats the bed and smiles when Rachel climbs on and snuggles into her. Even though she had just woken up in hospital after the worst beating of her life, with Rachel in her arms she felt safe and loved.

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><p><strong>Song; If Tomorrow Never Comes by Ronan Keating - weak song, I know but I felt it sums up the moment quite well :) <strong>

**Thoughs? x **


End file.
